Dearest Husband…

On Mother’s Day, I woke up to… nothing. A tweenage kid who rolled out of bed with one eye open, and announced his charming first words of the day: “You know what’s annoying?” And then there was the husband, who actually answered the tween...

Identity Crisis

“Hi, I’m Cheryl.  My husband is a podiatrist.” I had just moved into my house and was trying to remove a stinkbug from the ceiling.  When Cheryl and her brownies knocked on my door, I was naked (the evil critter had fallen, and on the off-chance it...

What a Pain

Every woman loves to tell the story of delivering her child into this world.  Not the joy of seeing that little alien face for the first time, but of the life-sucking, soul-crushing, mother-f*cking PAIN of the delivery.  We wear it like a badge.  When you have an...

The Ex Factor

Exes.  We all have ’em.  I don’t care if you’re blissfully married and in love (please, that’s an oxymoron once you’ve seen someone clip their toenails) with a collage of family stickers on the back of your minivan.  At some point, you...