Identity Crisis

“Hi, I’m Cheryl.  My husband is a podiatrist.” I had just moved into my house and was trying to remove a stinkbug from the ceiling.  When Cheryl and her brownies knocked on my door, I was naked (the evil critter had fallen, and on the off-chance it...

What a Pain

Every woman loves to tell the story of delivering her child into this world.  Not the joy of seeing that little alien face for the first time, but of the life-sucking, soul-crushing, mother-f*cking PAIN of the delivery.  We wear it like a badge.  When you have an...

The Ex Factor

Exes.  We all have ’em.  I don’t care if you’re blissfully married and in love (please, that’s an oxymoron once you’ve seen someone clip their toenails) with a collage of family stickers on the back of your minivan.  At some point, you...

The Naked War

Men love to be naked.  I can’t confirm how far back this concept dates, but I am willing to wager that Adam lifted up that fig leaf and gave Eve ‘The Helicopter’ ** on the regular.  If you were blessed with a baby boy, you know this starts at birth....

Will You Accept This Rose?

Let’s be real here: I think the divorce rate is up to some crazy high percentage.  50%?  60%?  Basically, as you are walking down the aisle, half your guests are thinking “What’s the over/under on the longevity of this union?  And will there be...