by julie | May 23, 2019 | Older and Wiser, Parenting Nightmares, Uncategorized
1. Don’t admit you are his mom, especially to his friends. Alternate introductions include: private chauffeur, aging foreign exchange student, or… on second thought, just don’t talk. 2. Don’t be loud. Anything that draws attention to your teenager’s existence...
by julie | Jan 7, 2019 | Older and Wiser, Parenting Nightmares, Women Rule
In the land of new mothers, I am a dinosaur. Actually, I like to think of myself as vintage. Like the Louis Vuitton fanny pack your grandma might have owned, now only available through a Sotheby’s auction. That bag and I have been through wars (WWII and 17 hours of...
by julie | Aug 15, 2018 | Parenting Nightmares
This morning I had to decide whether to have a handful of Cheetos or a handful of grapes for breakfast. The refrigerator was so empty that I almost considered cleaning it, and my grocery list was collecting as much dust as the fridge shelves. I knew that whichever...
by julie | Apr 30, 2018 | Parenting Nightmares
Friday night, 9 p.m. The Husband is on realtor.com, attempting to buy ridiculous plots of real estate. Every few minutes he shouts, “Look! Eight acres of beautiful land! And the house on the property only needs a new roof, walls, electric, plumbing, floors, and...
by julie | Feb 8, 2018 | Men vs. Women, Parenting Nightmares
“Why don’t girls wear bras to bed? Boobs are just so… out there. What’s their purpose? Boys certainly don’t have anything comparable.” It’s 10 pm and I’m brushing my teeth, 8 blissful seconds away from the latest episode...
by julie | Dec 13, 2017 | Parenting Nightmares, Party On
Picture it: December 23rd. You, on the living room floor, surrounded by unwrapped gifts. Ribbon wrapped around your leg. Eggnog in your coffee mug. The dog covered in glitter. Maybe your family wants to float Christmas to March? Not this year. This year you will make...
