Let’s Talk About S-E-X

“Why don’t girls wear bras to bed? Boobs are just so… out there. What’s their purpose? Boys certainly don’t have anything comparable.” It’s 10 pm and I’m brushing my teeth, 8 blissful seconds away from the latest episode...

Snow Day, No Way

Remember when you were little, and prayed for a Snow Day? You woke up at dawn to listen to the radio or watch the news to see if the Angels of Precipitation would grant you a day away from school. You bundled up and headed outside to sled or build a snowman, and your...

You Have The Gift

“Can my son play with your cleaning products?” The fellow toddler mom whose house we were visiting looked at me like I offered to drop scorpions in her baby’s Pack-n-Play. “It’s okay, really. He just likes to line them up and read the...

I Suck at Being a Mom

I suck at being a mom. I put you to sleep on your stomach. I left you with a variety of babysitters, some with questionable morals. I forgot to pack your school lunch… on your birthday. Sometimes I fall asleep before I can say good night to you. Your socks never...