What a Pain

Every woman loves to tell the story of delivering her child into this world.  Not the joy of seeing that little alien face for the first time, but of the life-sucking, soul-crushing, mother-f*cking PAIN of the delivery.  We wear it like a badge.  When you have an...

The Ex Factor

Exes.  We all have ’em.  I don’t care if you’re blissfully married and in love (please, that’s an oxymoron once you’ve seen someone clip their toenails) with a collage of family stickers on the back of your minivan.  At some point, you...

The Naked War

Men love to be naked.  I can’t confirm how far back this concept dates, but I am willing to wager that Adam lifted up that fig leaf and gave Eve ‘The Helicopter’ ** on the regular.  If you were blessed with a baby boy, you know this starts at birth....

Marry Me

Picture it: A clueless 26 year old bride-slash-baby-mama. Her under eye circles didn’t need filler, and she was naturally radiant without a spray tan.    And now, because sh*t happens and nobody tells you how hard it is to ACTUALLY love someone ’til death...

Will You Accept This Rose?

Let’s be real here: I think the divorce rate is up to some crazy high percentage.  50%?  60%?  Basically, as you are walking down the aisle, half your guests are thinking “What’s the over/under on the longevity of this union?  And will there be...

How To Get Divorced

Remain graceful.  Expect people to murmur when you enter a room, their mouths stuck in tiny O’s of pity, their heads shaking ever so slightly.  They are all thinking the same thing:  Can you believe it?  They seemed so happy. And: Thank God it’s not me. Breathe....