Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down

“OHMYGOD what is in your bathroom?!” My sister is visiting, and I can only assume she found a) my crimping iron,  b) cellulite cream, or c) the earrings I stole from her circa 2007.  (Seriously though, crimping WILL come back in style and I will be leading...

Will You Accept This Rose?

Let’s be real here: I think the divorce rate is up to some crazy high percentage.  50%?  60%?  Basically, as you are walking down the aisle, half your guests are thinking “What’s the over/under on the longevity of this union?  And will there be...

How To Get Divorced

Remain graceful.  Expect people to murmur when you enter a room, their mouths stuck in tiny O’s of pity, their heads shaking ever so slightly.  They are all thinking the same thing:  Can you believe it?  They seemed so happy. And: Thank God it’s not me. Breathe....

Diary of a Friday Night

7:01 am – Wake up bursting with fruit flavor for the weekend.  Ready to party like Shannen Doherty circa 1995! 5:22 pm – Wonder why no one has texted an invitation for drinks.  Restart phone. 6:30 pm – Pour wine.  Google At what age do you become a...

Try It, You’ll Like It

There are many, many things in life that I do not enjoy, including but not limited to: temperatures below 65 (you will never catch me skiing, although rosy cheeks are a really good look for me, and I’ve always thought I would look cute in a rustic cabin with a...